Spiral Of Life Coaching ~ Power Speak... Empower Yourself With the Words You Use

Coaching & Mentoring For Women Engineers

"Power Speak" ~ Empower Yourself With the Words You Use

by Laurie Valaer, Life Coach, Speaker, & Writer, May 2003

I’d like to pass along a piece of wisdom that I received from a fellow coach named Linda Pollack. I met Linda at one of the first Denver Coach Federation (DCF) meetings that I ever attended. During this meeting, the guest speaker asked those present to make a list of “all the things we had to do that week.” Well, being busy with work, class, coaching, etc… I sure had a long list of “to-do’s” and I began to rapidly write them down. I was astonished when I looked up and noticed that my new friend Linda was not writing down a single thing. How could this be? What an amazing thing….to have nothing that you have to do! I could only imagine what her life must be like…

As I gave Linda a questioning glance, she leaned over to me and whispered, “I don’t HAVE to do anything. I choose what I want to be doing.” Wow! What an empowering concept. And, it was just the concept that the guest speaker was trying to get across. After that, Linda and I discussed empowerment and the fact that “the way you speak” has a huge impact on the power that you give yourself.

Linda shared with me the following tips about changing the way you speak to empower yourself:

1) Instead of saying: “I can’t…”

Say: “I choose not to…,” “I’ve decided not to…,” “I don’t want to…,” “I won’t…"

2) Instead of saying: “I have to…”

Say: “I choose to…,” “I’ve decided to…,” “I want to…,” “I will…”

3) Instead of saying: “I don’t have time…”

Say: “I’ve decided to do something else during that time…”

4) Instead of saying: “I don’t know how to…”

Say: “I haven’t yet learned to…”

Play a little game with yourself for the next month. Start to notice how many times you use the “un-empowering” phrases listed above. Then, start to replace these phrases with one of the “empowering” phrases suggested….or make up your own! Another wise friend once told me…”I control my career, it does not control me.” Follow her example and take charge by living an empowered life. Changing the way you speak will give you a great head start!

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